Another Thursday night is upon us where Mary and I are heading in opposite directions. As I roll into the driveway after work, I have barely enough time to give Mary a kiss hello while she is trying to get her son out the door to hockey practice. Wouldn’t be so bad except by the time she gets back, I will have my son at basketball practice until late enough that we will likely talk again tomorrow morning. What are we doing all of this for again? That’s right… it’s for the boys. It’s their sports and it’s the stuff that will make them good men one day. But at what cost?

I am the bigger issue here for sure. I have coached my son’s sports for 10 years and it has been my ability to stay in touch with the boys through thick and thin. I have dutifully taken my kids 2-5 nights a week to their sports and never batted an eye. Under the cloak of “it’s for the boys” anything goes I guess. It does take its toll on the boys and their social and school lives. We spend many an evening trying to get these boys to unwind from sports while plying them with homework. They sometimes complain about missing their friends and often tell us they are too tired for school the next day but it’s all part of the life mission to turn sports into their moral fabric.

From the family point of view, nothing bonds a family together like cheering for a child at a sporting event. The thrill of victory and agony of defeat makes families stick together and go back wanting for more. All of the work and suffering is worth it, win or lose in those moments. But what about the time spent apart, with the family fractured over soccer, hockey, basketball etc. Hard to say it’s worth it. I run across the occasional family who have decided that keeping the kids clear from activities of any kind, is the smart path. What the kids lose in the life experiences is what the entire family gains in sanity. I think the approach may have some merit. Many times I have longed for the simplicity of the casual evening but I think it is dictated by your kids more than the parents. Some kids simply NEED to be active. Forcing them to sit and watch a movie and pay attention is more painful then hauling them to practice. Kids NEED activity and sports is a great way to burn that energy.

I am a sports guy and I will likely always defer towards that direction. I think the social, leadership and confidence that kids gain from a team sport supersede the damage it provides a family. Easier said than done tonight when all I want to do it hit the couch with Mary….

Marco