There is just not enough time in the day. Or the week or the year for that matter. I am perpetually looking for more minutes in my day and hoping that I can use them productively when i find them. The problem is, more often than not, I do find those minutes but I’m afraid that I don’t always use them for the best use.
It’s a struggle for me to take a deep breath and smell the roses. I am a very driven individual who tries to make valued use of the day that is presented. I had someone, many moons ago, teach me that lesson. She worked in a restaurant and described to me that she never brings a plate of food out without bringing back to the kitchen with her. It would be a wasted trip otherwise and your day would become an inefficient mess. She was right. I have lived to that motto my entire life and have become very comfortable multitasking within anything I am doing. My issue continues to be, should I be multitasking in everything I do? Can’t I just focus on one thing or one person at a time?
This makes relationships difficult, especially those who know me best. Mary and the boys know that that’s who I am, even to the point of laughing at my desire to be cleaning the floors while watching a movie. Or emptying the dishwasher while eating my breakfast. I wish I could just sit and relax. It would serve me so much better to be more involved in the moment, rather than thinking about what I should be doing to be productive. I want to be that person but this efficiency has become ingrained in me for a long time now and the habits are very tough to shake.
My goal is to try and give myself more to those who need me. I need to become more focused on them and their story while remaining engaged in the moment. The rest will wait and still be there when the moment is gone. Life passes you by very quickly if you choose to let it. I need to have those conversations with the boys that they need as young men. I need to make time to work with them on their issues and walk through what it takes for them to navigate their ever complicated world. I know what needs to be done but can I do it?
More importantly, I need to devote that time to Mary. She is such a vibrant woman with great ideas and grand plans in this world. Not being focused on her is not only an injustice its plain stupid on my part. She has so much to teach me that I really need to know but I won’t learn it without some focus on that time. These are some of the best moments in my year, simply listening to this dynamic woman wow me with her knowledge and energy. Why must I be wiping the countertops while she is regaining me with her day?
The answer lies with me, as it does with most things in ones life. I need to smell those roses more and more. I have to realize that I just can’t do it all nor accomplish it all. It’s ok to not be productive at all times. It is most important to stop and listen, and in turn communicate with those around you who grace you with their attention. Most things in life can actually wait for a few minutes and most people can effectively understand those rare moments when it just cannot wait. It goes without saying that your phone or electronics only add to the difficulty. Find me a successful person and they will show you how important that tool has become to their world. There are a million articles written on that topic and all of them say that you should put the damn thing down. They all lead to the same problem for me. Those roses just won’t be there forever.
Take a note from a chronic multi-tasker, when you find people that bring you roses, there is nothing more efficient than smelling them over and over and over. That’s what they are there for.
Marco