Papagrande and his cast of co-hosts take a spin through the greatest sports and movie moments best seen on tape. Be kind, rewind and bring something to the discussion.
The Rewindables
Great Canadians who could stop the world
The title doesn’t quite tell the whole tale. In the past week, Canadian music lovers are mourning the passage of one of the greatest singer songwriters we have seen. Gord Downie of the Tragically Hip passed away this week and as Mary said to me upon hearing the news, “They were the sound of my university life.” What has been more amazing to me has been the media attention that his battle with terminal brain cancer has garnered. Certainly, his story is tragic, if for no other reason that at 53 years old, he left behind a wife and family and like so many other Canadians, he didn’t reach his full life plan. This story is one told daily by hundreds of Canadians who battle disease and sometimes lose so what makes him different? The answer of course was his footprint on Canadiana and the audio legacy he left behind. Most of us leave a footprint on the family and friends we touched along the path of life. His arc allowed him to touch so many more with his committment to cancer research along the final months of his life.
This raised a fascinating question this weekend, while sharing a dinner party with our friends Michelle and Alan. The question was posed, “If Gord Downie’s life made Canada stop for a few days, which other Canadian passing would reach the same impact?” From there, we needed to set some parameters to guide this wine fuelled debate.
Criteria:
- They must be 50+ and be in the stages of life where a passing could become probable. Although a plane crash carrying Justin Beiber would make world-wide news, the probability was not likely, nor predictable.
- They must have been relevant to us Canadians for 20+ years. Someone who has entered our conscious in the latter years of their life, cannot be held in the same reverence as someone who spans generations of families.
- The criteria were that their passing would be major news on Canadian media for 3 or more days while they had to make news in the US or world markets for at least a day. Of course, this became a limiting step on scientists or writers who may not have the national media notoriety needed.
- No Prime Ministers allowed. Of course, they would grab attention all over the world regardless of how long ago they were in office. No debate needed here.
This was no easy task to run through the names of people who would stop the Canadian clock if they passed away today. We narrowed the list from hundreds, down to 50 and then to a dozen, who we agreed would have an impact.
Honourable Mention:
Howie Mandell
Pamela Anderson
Keanu Reeves
In their own way, they all have reason to be within the top 12 but fell just outside of it. Howie Mandell has seen a resurgence in his reality TV career but really never was huge 20 years ago. Pam Anderson was massive during her Baywatch days but doesn’t fully resonate today. Keanu Reeves is the most interesting of the discussion because he was huge 20 years ago and again today but ultimately was too average in the middle to get 3 days worth of Canadian press because of it.
Canadian Legends:
Alex Trebek
The man is truly an institution in the game show industry. He continues to be relevant within the vernacular of Canadians as well as within any trivia contest you may play. The man has made a complete persona out of smug let apologetic answers to useless trivia. You are lying if you say you haven’t mimicked him when answering with “Ooh no, is was What was the Pythagoras Theorem.”
Donald Sutherland
We had our struggles separating the two Sutherland boys but ultimately Papa Sutherland met the criteria. He was relevant in the 70’s with MASH and Kelly’s Heroes and remains the same today with THe Hunger Games. At 82 he is now reaching legendary status with accolades planned to present him with a honourary Oscar for lifetime achievement. You don’t earn the golden statue without being great.
Neil Young
Buffalo Springfield, Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young and his solo career make him a surefire hall of fame Canadian. The man is one of Canada’s greatest singer songwriters and continues to be a draw in concert well into his 70’s. Heart of Gold is one of the best songs sung by a Canadian artist and the man owns countless Grammy’s and Juno’s. Revere his magic while you still can.
Canadian Gold:
Shania Twain
I had no idea how worldly popular this artist was until this debate. She has 5 Grammy’s with 4 number one hits on the US charts and was THE biggest country star of the 1990’s. She remains relevant today with sell out concerts to new generations of fans and appearances on the Voice. Replay some of her hits and you will remember why she is the biggest Canadian cross-over star.
Bryan Adams
For people born in the 70’s and who grew up in the 80’s, Bryan Adams was Canadian music. The remainder of the 80’s stars who came after him should kiss the ground he walks on. His 13 number one hits including “Everything I do, I do it for you” lasting an incredible 16 weeks at number 1 in the US, make him an untouchable. Tack on 15 Grammy nominations and several Golden Globe and Oscar nominations for soundtracks and you realize what a gift he is.
Bobby Orr
You could debate that Bobby Orr had the greatest 10 year career of any pro athlete in any sport, ever. He is revered by a generation of hockey fans who will not accept any argument that there is anyone better. He is the only defenseman to lead the league in scoring, twice and scored an incredible number of points in a career shortened by knee injuries. He had 8 Norris trophies for best defenseman and left us with countless highlights of a player who was before his time in skill. Number 4, Bobby Orr!
Don Cherry
The man has been the Canadian TV star for the past 30 years. Incredible considering he is literally on the tube for 6 minutes a week but has become appointment TV for millions every Saturday night. His crazy pattern suits and high collar dress shirts are part of the image as much as the bold statements and personal attacks on any other nationality except Canada. That stance alone has made him a God to hockey fans and the world would come to stop should he not be on air next Saturday night.
The royalty of Canadiana:
Michael J Fox
He was only the sweetheart of American comedy TV in the 1980’s. Hit shows such as Family Ties, Spin City and the epic Back to the Future Trilogy make him a legend of modern TV. His public battle for and against Parkinson’s disease make him completely relevant to today’s Canada. He has handled this debilitating disease with the grace and honour that all of us can be proud of and all the while, he continues to act his way through role in movie and TV. True class.
Jim Carrey
For most of the 1990’s, Jim Carrey was the biggest comedy star on the planet. starting with his classic role on “In Living Colour” and through massive hits like “The Mask”, “Ace Ventura”, and “Dumb and Dumber”, he became a legend. Countless hits followed, many with critical acclaim including a Golden Globe award. The man could star in a movie about building sand castles or ice fishing and have it gross $100 million. That’s truly the sign of a star. His shines brightly for all Canadians.
Celine Dion
Simply said she is one of the biggest recording stars on the planet and proudly Canadian. She was massive worldwide with her hits and her Vegas show pulls people in year over year to catch a glimpse of her brightest moments. Titanic was a huge hit but her music within it is as much a part of its legacy as the movie ever was. She gracefully managed her life through the death of her husband and continues to be relevant to the newest of her fans with her voice attached to the best of the TV reality shows. There will not be a greater music star in our generation.
Wayne Gretzky
He is Canada. He brought the country something special when the Oilers won all of those Stanley Cups in the 1980’s. What we didn’t know then that we do know now is that through those years he became the face of the country around the world. His hockey accolades aside (and they are mind boggling), he became a national treasure whether you cheered for other teams or not. Today he is back involved with the Oil and continues to say and do the right things in the mold of the Greatest living Canadian would. The Great One is really the Greatest One.
You may agree or disagree but that’s what makes this such a fun topic. Have your own debate and let us know what you think.
The retail life cycle claims it’s newest victim
It was a particularly sad week for those of us who love the art of selling. The retail life cycle has claimed another retail giant. Sears Canada, after desperately holding its operations together for the past few months while it scrambled for someone to buy it, has filed for bankruptcy. The plan to have its former CEO put together a consortium to pull it out of the dumpster has failed and another chunk of Canadian mall space will need redesigning.
This coupled with the bankruptcy protection of Toys R’ Us now has put the reminder of big box retail on guard. Not so many years ago, you could see the demise of the high end retail sector starting to crumble. When Wal-Mart entered the Canadian market in the early 90’s the market started to turn and with the eruption of category killer stores, it made the department store of the 70’s a thing of the past. As we reflect on these retail departures, let’s look back fondly on other retail that has long since vanished:
- Zellers – March 2013
This one hit hard in my family. There were generations on family and friends who gave their blood, sweat and tears to this all-Canadian discounter. The end had been on the horizon for many years, as the battle for discount supremacy ran the direction of Wal-Mart. They gave us gifts such as Dollar Daze, the Skillet Restaurant and Club Z points but it wasn’t enough when the boys from Target came calling. I guess the saving grace is that they fought Wal-Mart for 20 years while Target failed here in less than 2.
2. Eaton’s – June 1999
The Eaton’s retail corporation was THE retail giant in this country for the better part of 100 years. As the market shifted towards discount, there was not room for this traditional mall anchor. The name was so widely respected that entire downtown shopping centres were anchored by their stores and the mall’s remained named “Eaton Centre” until even 2014. They gave us distinct gifts such as prestige service levels and a formidable catalogue business but it was the Eaton brand which remains burned into our minds today.
3. Woodward’s – September 1992
For several decades, Woodward’s WAS the epitome of the elite shopping experience In the days where Eaton’s, The Bay and they went head to head to head for the title of best service, there was no question who was that champion. Born out of the West Coast, the real estate of Woodward’s was one of its true assets. Many downtown shopping blocks in Western Canada were dominated by these massive stores and major shopping centres were also occupied by their footprint. When the HBC corporation took these spaces over in 1992, the legacy of the retailer ended. I was involved in one of those takeovers and can recount one amazing story. As we cleaned our way through one of these gargantuan buildings, we found a locked room in the basement filled with old fur coats that had been tucked away and forgotten about in the transition. The value of “lost” merchandise was tremendous and spoke to the pure affluence of it all.
4. Woolco – September 1991
Yes Woolco. The mighty ship of Wal-Mart cam into Canada in 1991 and took away our favorite reg light specials and their infamous $1.44 days. The landscape was never the same again in Canada and in some small way, their demise led to retail chaos in Canada. Their stores were notoriously junky and worn down but still effective. They were the first of the bi box stores to vacant the country and are revered in many places.
The bankruptcy train didn’t leave out it’s smaller and more formidable, category killer stores. Think about these stores who have now vanished from the Canadian retail scene:
Danier
Aeropostale
Smart Set
Grand & Toy
Beaver Lumber
A&B Sound
Future Shop
Bootlegger
And the hits keep coming at us with rumours that Claire’s, Payless Shoes and Gymboree will all become one of the recently departed. All the while, we continue to buy more and more from Amazon and other online retailers, making the hill even greater to climb for brick and mortar stores. Retail is meant to be an experience and good or bad, those companies that have left us, didn’t all do it wrong, they just ran into other retailers that did it better. Sobering thoughts for those of us who still make a living selling stuff.
Marco
Another awesome night of classic rock
If I said that a top 100 all time rock group rolled through Calgary this week you might be left thinking, who was it? Duran Duran? The Police? Starship?… The concert was so entertaining that it forced Mary to Google and remember just how big these guys really were in their heyday. We agreed that they were BIG-TIME.
Billboard Top 100 artists of All-time
Foreigner came and went through Calgary on Wednesday night and left the packed crowd at the Jubilee raving about their energy and 40 years of hits. We were entertained by the classic Canadian 80’s hair band, Honeymoon Suite, in the opening act. These guys are personal favorites of Mary’s and myself and have been known to carry its own concert in this city. They shredded their way through their biggest hits, still nailing the hard notes while throwing a lot of energy into rousing the crowd up. Although this group will not make anyone’s top 100 artist list, they were a significant player on the Billboard charts from 1983-86 and their hits still get your attention on classic rock stations around the world.
The crowd was ready for Foreigner and they hit the stage hard with a rousing rendition of Double Vision and the energy never stopped all night. Over 90 minutes, we heard hit after hit with this partially reconstituted group and we loved every minute. Mary and I struggled to narrow our favorite 5 songs from the night, to make this list.
- Urgent – Foreigner
Reaching #1 in Canada in 1981, this crushing song and beat made the entire night for me . The saxophone solo that was played in the studio version was masterfully replicated on stage with amazement to us all. When you listen to the song on radio, you lose the passion that goes into that solo and the compliment that the sax plays to the overall song. Plus who hasn’t sung the words “urgent, urgent…..emergency” in this shower singing life?
2. Love Changes Everything – Honeymoon Suite
This hit reached #9 in Canada in 1988 and the beat and lyrics bring you right back to that date. This is a classic Canadian rock song with everything you want in a fast beat, hard guitar song. Put it on in your car and feel the 80’s again. You also better prepare for the amazing 80’s hair in this video.
3. Jukebox Hero – Foreigner
Simply put, one of the best rock ballads of all-time. This classic song which reached #2 on the Billboard charts may be better known to younger kids from it’s difficulty to play on Guitar Hero. To us grey beards, it is one of those songs that 100 years from now, future rock cyborgs will play this songh and still chant the slow chorus “JUKE BOX HERRRRRRRO!”
4. Wave Babies – Honeymoon Suite
You know the line. “Waaaaaaaaaave Babies when they’re lying on the sand”. It’s one of those songs that even non-Suite fans hear on the radio and immediately know the tune of the chorus. In 1984, this was a massive Canadian hit which made Honeymoon Suite relevant on the US charts as well. You won’t mind the classic 80’s beach body video that celebrates its arrival.
5. I Want to Know What Love is – Foreigner
This was the only #1 hit that Foreigner ever had and it is a classic through and through. “I’ve got to take a little time, a little time to think things over….” You know that you know every word in the first stanza and you can yell the chorus. That’s what makes this one of the all-time greatest love songs sung between dudes with huge hair and girls who think said dudes are still awesome, even though the 80’s are long gone. Refresh yourself on the greatness
Mary and I continue to knock off our list, classic band after another. Stay tuned for the next one.
Marco
Right or wrong – Alberta is going up in smoke
Now the discussion around recreational marijuana has become real. Yesterday, Alberta announced the start of a framework that will see Alberta become the most progressive territory in North America on how and where it can be used. I have attached the article here for your reference:
Beyond the debate on whether marijuana should be considered the same as alcohol in its usage and handling, there are so many issues I see within this rough framework. Hopefully, there will be some thought put into the final draft but for now, these areas need clarity:
- The proposed age of 18
One should argue that this minimum age should be increased for alcohol consumption as well but most physician groups argue that the developing brain is adversely affected by booze or drugs. Starting this journey at 18 is a recipe for disaster for our youth.
2. The legal carrying amount is set at 30 grams
I am no expert in this field but when I hear that you can carry 30 grams of marijuana on you without reproach it seems excessive. This equates to around 40 joints which seems like a helluva party for most. Users would argue that you can buy a 60 count Budweiser pack at Costco or 2 L of hard liquor with no issue. The other interesting perspective was that there are much higher limits to what you can hold at your home (much like booze).
3. You can grow it at home
Again, just like alcohol, where you can home-brew beer or wine, you can grow your own stock at home. This seems like an alarming trend when the police are working so hard to stop grow ops in the city. The difference I see is that no one I know has ever tried to sell their home-brew to others. If the growing of pot isn’t tightly monitored (and how will they ever check every house for the 5 plant minimum) we are simply creating a whole new way for this drug to be black marketed to the wrong people.
4. Where you can consume it
Thankfully, they plan to stop users from smoking it while behind the wheel. At this point, they have not adequately developed a way to test for intoxication levels for drivers. They logically propose outlawing usage around public buildings and places where kids could be frequenting (a whole 5 metres away). What baffles me is that they propose that you could be walking down the streets or any other general public place and be consuming it. They would never let you walk down the street with a beer in your hand so why should marijuana be considered different? This again seems like something that will be impossible to enforce and will lead to issues.
5. They have left all of us to generally police each other
For the most part, society seems to be able to police one another. we know we shouldn’t drink and drive or consume alcohol in public. We can’t smoke on planes or outside of designated areas at buildings. Now there becomes this new animal on the block. What will people be smoking when they take their designated smoke break at work? How will businesses be best equipped to monitor consumption before and after their shift? How will the black market product become a factor on the “safe” retail product? What will the advertising model become where a glorification of the product is presented?
On the record, I am generally naive about marijuana usage and its effects. I am against the use of recreational drugs in most situations even though I can’t back up the reasons why it is different from alcohol. I have heard many of the arguments on how much safer pot is than alcohol or smoking, for that matter. All of it may be plausible and much will be recorded on it over the next year. What I do know is that we aren’t in Kansas anymore (or Canada for that matter). I’m sure there is a happy medium for everyone to enjoy the use of any recreational vice. Unless Albertan’s speak out and attempt to put tighter boundaries on how, where and what is being done here, we will have no one to blame for it but ourselves when July 2018 rolls around.
Marco
Yep, the winter is coming
We woke up Monday in Alberta to a blast of winter snow. We were not, in any way prepared for that and it only led to winter chaos in the house. I love this country but I hate its weather. Mary and I long for the days where we can live in warm climate during the cold months. where we can say to the kids, “why don’t you fly down to Mexico for a week and bring the grandkids.” For the forseeable future, we will continue to live through weeks like this.
- Nic’s school camping trip.
You guessed it, his school camping trip was scheduled to leave Monday morning. They were to go hiking out in Kananaskis Country for 6 hours, then settle in for the night. If you want to see 100 parents banging their heads against the wall at the same time, you can see it while trying to educate grade 12 kids to actually prepare for inclement weather. Would he bring more than a hoodie? No. How about wear hiking boots? Nope he will climb the mountain in his Vans. How about gloves or a hat? Are you kidding, he would rather freeze. This was no joke weather that morning with snow blowing and sticking to you like concrete.
I’m happy to say he survived and he suffered along the way. His shoes were soaked in the first 20 minutes and no number of socks was going to save him. He was cold and wet and hungry and you know what, he deserved it. Do you know what else? He had a great time, salvaged his reputation by not succumbing to traditional warm clothing strategies and came home in one piece. I’m not sure when we all went from being stupid to becoming conservative adults but it happens to us all. I recall my camping trip in grade 12. I brought a sweater, 2 cans of soup, a blanket and 12 rubbers. It poured rain and all I had to show for it was the rubbers. If I was smart, I would have worn them as a rain jacket but pride stepped in there too. We all learn the hard way.
2. We have a visitor living under the stove…
You know it’s winter when the dogs won’t go outside for a piss anymore. You also know it’s winter when you see a mouse scampering across the kitchen floor.
I heard the yelp from upstairs. Why is it that the person who is most afraid of mice is the one who has them run through their feet? I wish I knew but Mary is that person. I saw it too when I moved the stove. It is the smallest little thing but it’s a quick little bugger. I was instructed to, “get it but don’t kill it.” Right, like that’s going to be simple. One evening later, I arrived home to the military grade mouse trap, loaded with peanut butter, that clearly is not going to “catch and release” the little guy. Suddenly faced with the reality of sharing a kitchen for the winter with “Manny” as I have named him, it’s ok to bring out the heavy weapons. He will eventually meet his maker and life will go back to normal but for now, Mary will look twice when entering the kitchen.
3. Snow tires – it’s a reality again
It feels like I just put the all-seasons on and now it’s time to take them off. One day, it would be nice to just have tires, not seasonal tires. Now I am scrambling around trying to find a shop that will swap them out again and not thrilled about the idea of driving on hard pack for 5 months. Think happy thoughts Albertans. Spring is right around the corner.
4. The scramble for jackets was on
You are never prepared for that first snowfall or cold morning. The car doesn’t start well. There is a level of ice or frost on the windshield. And you think, “where the hell did I put that coat?” Inevitably, you find the closet and yank that dreaded coat out and trudge out into the cold. This week, we had a funny moment with Mary’s son Rian and his coat.
At least he wore one. In fact he now has grown enough that he is in his brothers hand-me-down jacket. Monday morning, I went and pulled the jacket out, placed it on him and had him two steps out the door. I was the man! Pulled that together masterfully. Until Mary notices that his older brother has torn the vinyl down the side of the jacket and the stuffing is coming out. Many parents would be mortified and tell their kids that we can’t send you to school with a torn jacket. Oh the embarrassment!
Not this crew. Mary, who is always quick thinking on her feet, goes and grabs duct tape and decides she is going to “sew” this thing up using the most magical tool in the toolbox. Nic is standing at the door watching this debacle go on thinking to himself, “this is why I took control of my wardrobe this morning.” Meanwhile Rian, who to his credit hasn’t let peer pressure take over his desire to remain warm, thinks this is a totally cool idea and keeps the jacket in play for the day. We high-fived each other and went along with the notion that duct tape on his jacket was likely the least of his problems for the day. Awesome moment.
It’s only going to get worse everyone. We will have many stories to tell over the next 5 months. In the meantime, I choose to put my attention into the holiday tracker which says that in 29 days there is a beach in our future. I will remain in denial over October for the time being.
Marco
Must see TV – The Vietnam War documentary
Ken Burns and Lynn Novak spent the better part of 10 years to try and repaint the graphic picture of the Vietnam War. Their 18 hour epic is possibly the most gripping documentary I have been subject to.
Like many of us who did not live during this war, our knowledge of this period of time can be summed up in the following:
- Vietnam war movies like Platoon, Full Metal Jacket & Apocalypse now
- The Kent State shootings of 1970
- The treatment of veterans by American protesters upon their return
These issues certainly are presented in depth during the documentary but there are so many more nuances to the war and its affect on the people who fought it. Of fascination to me were the dissection of the way that the Vietnam draft process shaped the discord with the USA during those years. It is now said that those of wealth or influence who were able to have their service deferred for a year, forced another, poor American son into action for 2 years. The commentary by military leaders about their experiences and relationships during the battle, give you chills. These leaders knew that they were sending these young men to their inevitable death and there was nothing that could be done to stop it. The other interesting aspect of the documentary was the political impacts that the war had on the US Presidents and the logic that was being rationalized to remain in this conflict, when much of the nation was against the reasoning. The Cold War and the threat of the Communists taking hold of another country, drove the USA braintrust to compound bad decisions and remain in a war they couldn’t win.
In the process, almost 58,000 men and women lost their lives and thousands more came hame injured, many critically. The psychological scars from the war have tormented those who were there, from the day it ended. The participants of this war, gave brutal context to the scene that played out and were ready to tell their stories.
Attached here is the NY Times review of this epic and it frames the story for you. Make some time for this story and be forever changed from the voices who lived to share the story.
Marco
A slave to sport….again
Here we go again. The summer is long over and school is starting to hit the homework phase where kids are now coming home with the first waves of math and science review. The leaves are starting to turn to colour and there is a nip in the morning air. What does all of that mean…. We are again a slave to sport.
I don’t want to make it sound like it’s all bad but it sure sneaks up on your weekend plans. Mary and I were discussing what was on the go this weekend. She is a week into the recovery on her surgery and under doctor orders to not drive. When we started running through the agenda for Saturday, it was spretty clear that we were going to become the lowest paid UBER driver in the city, shuttling kids to and from sports events.
We have been down this road before. We knew what we were getting into when the boys were signed up for hockey/basketball. Like all parents, we want to spend time watching the boys play and get great enjoyment out of their successes while agonizing in their struggles. The part that shocks us every year is how quickly it takes over your life and dictates what your schedule looks like. For some reason, we just cannot get our act together in the weeks prior to this kick off, and that has a carryover into sport season.
Groceries… no chance. Thankfully Superstore is open until 11pm nightly or we might not eat. Clean up the house…choose your poison. Unless you are out of dishes or underwear, it is difficult to make the time needed. Walk the dog….think again. The days are shorter and shorter so your pooches will have to enjoy a run around in the backyard. Sleep in on the weekend…..are you kidding? You have a better chance of passing out in your mashed potatoes on a Saturday night. See some friends….what friends? The memory of a summer BBQ floated away like the waft of that steak you cooked yourself in July. The more kids you have in activities, the smaller your chance is of salvaging anything in the fall schedule.
September really is an incredible economic boost to your community. Back to school costs, school fees, sports/activities fees, childcare fees and costs that re-emerge with working, all take it’s toll on families. Besides or pocketbooks, we are poorer in time. The blessing of the summer months sure kicks us square in the balls in September. We milk th summer right up to Labour Day and when the calendar turns to September, you have to look back at those months and ask yourself, “could I have been better prepared for this onslaught?”
We all know the answer here is “I should have but summer is so short!” Canadian summers are in short supply and should be enjoyed and relished. To hell with organization in your life. Most families pay the piper for that fun and we are all ok with it. So while you are stuck in traffic to get to dance school, shoving Tim Hortons into your kids on the way to basketball practice or walking from 12 degree weather into what seems like -100 degree flash freezing in the proverbial Canadian ice rink, smile about what your August looked like. We earned that time away from the grind and equally, we earned the shock of what sport season does to your family. Hang in there everyone. Hockey season is over in March.
Marco
The trials and tribulations of an injury
Mary has a buggered shoulder.
There are people in the world who live with injuries a lot longer than her but this has not been an easy stretch for her. She fell in February, while on a vacation and tore her rotator cuff along with dislodging her bicep from her bone. What does all of that mean? Essentially, she cannot lift her right arm higher than her hip. It’s no way to live your life asking for help to reach the cereal, needing someone to lift your arm to grab the mouse or trying to take your bra off with one hand (although that is a skill I mastered at one point of my bachelor life…).
Tomorrow Mary goes for surgery to repair this damage.
For months we debated the merits of the Canadian medical system. Should she pay for private medical to fix the damage in a world where you pay big bucks for instant help. Or should we wait it out for an appointment to see a specialist and hope to have it repaired in the next 18 months? It brought me back to the old days when we used to receive those extended insurance and dismemberment forms back in elementary school. You remember the conversation with your buddies where it listed the various body parts you could lose and how much it was worth if you lost it. The debate raged on whether it was better to lose an eye for $10,000 or lose one of your hands for $25,000. When you are older or injured, you debate what you will pay them to hopefully get it back.
Mary got lucky, with some dogged perseverance in chasing down various doctors who could hopefully help an active woman get her am back to full use. She was able to get into see a specialist after 7 months with a hope to get a surgery date before Christmas. Last week, her ship came in with a cancelation on the surgery and she is up for a new arm tomorrow. Suddenly, the reality kicked in. She actually has to have a surgery done which means real anesthetic and real risks.
We have had some strange conversations in the past day. Where is my living will and do you know what is in it? What do you mean I can’t drive for 4-6 weeks? How exactly are we getting the kids to all of their different sports with only one driver? The instructions even say she needs to take a pregnancy test prior to the surgery! These aren’t exactly topics that we have spent much time talking about in the past while so to say it was eye opening is an understatment. I suppose all the legal battles raged through hospital mishap have led to the days where no stone is unturned prior to an operation.
I am confident that she will be better than ever, sooner than even the doctors think. She will have a tough 8-12 weeks of recovery and at the end her “bionic” arm will be a great story to tell. If this is the worst of the hospital visits we see in our lifetime, we will be very fortunate. In the meantime, you can stop wondering why people have to wear that bar that holds your arm out on an angle. Her name is Mary, so say hi to her when you see her.
Good luck baby! Your career as a major league pitcher is over but here’s to being able to drink a beer with your right arm again!
Marco
The most wonderful time of the year….or is it?
This morning you could hear the cheers of parents from around Alberta as the majority of students went back to class. It has widely been recognized that parents have that relief on their faces as Labour Day rolls around that the challenge of entertaining their kids, all day long, has finally come to an end. Now I know that the summer is designed to give kids (and teachers) a break from the grind of education and it also give parents a chance to reconnect with their children. For some fortunate families, they can spend the entire summer travelling and vacationing across the land. That lifestyle can take the edge off the summer grind of entertaining the youth, while the rest of us look for ways to get our kids away from their electronics for a day. The answer all along was the almighty school, and it’s back!
Not so fast parents! The return of reading, writing and arithmetic poses all sorts of new (age old) problems for families. Here’s my Hateful 8 list of why school is not necessarily the gift our parents always used to think it was:
- Kids hate to go to bed when the sun is up.
You know this is the biggest struggle in week 1. Kids traditionally have broken from their traditional bedtimes through the summer and reforming them to the standard is no small task. If you could bottle the energy being put into yelling “GET TO BED!” across this city tonight, you could power the oil sands.
2. Lunches.
Some parents have this down to a science where their kids make their own lunches. Others of us bang our heads against the wall to find the perfect combination of healthy and something that the schools will allow them to eat. If you are “lucky” enough to have teens you know that battle. They can’t take a lunch because it’s not cool yet they will eat everything and anything when they dig for it. Give up and let them fend for themselves.
3. School supplies.
It’s an amazing industry. They manufacturers of pens and pencils have made an art out of putting the cool in school. The days of school lists and foraging through stores looking for the correct duotang and correction tape have changed but make no mistake. If your kid shows up with some foreign notebook or pencil sharpener that wasn’t approved by the teacher, someone will know about it.
4. School fees.
I get it, the school board has no money. They have no way to fund all of the creative classes that your son or daughter has slected from their options list. Ultimately, we can do nothing about the machine that the school system has become but we are allowed to complain about it during the first week. Rage against the fees!
5. Homework
It’s a necessary evil to education and the schools have tried to curtail it but nothing turns your evening around more than to try and re-learn stochiometry, the parts of a flower or how to dissect math word problems. Why the hell do I care how fast a train is going if it left Chicago at 4pm Saturday? Because we want our kids to get into Harvard and this might come up on a SAT exam 12 years from now.
6. Clothes/shoes shopping
If you were one of those families wandering around the mall with that dreaded look on your face, I feel for you. I don’t know who came up with the rule that all kids should have new clothes to start school but they must be related to the Walton family of Walmarts. That propaganda has been haunting families for years. Is it to make them feel better against the new kids they will meet or so we as parents feel like our kids aren’t the little creeps they showed us all summer? I say we all send our kids to school with no socks as a show of force.
7. Crazy school schedules
Whatever happened to the days where school started at 9am sharp and kids rolled home at 3:30? Now we have kids in class before 8am and home early on Friday’s. How can any parent be expected to organize a work schedule around this schedule? Don’t even get me started on the way kids are bussed to school in this city. We aren’t going to change it people but I’m choosing to send my kids in late once a week as a way of telling them I simply can’t get my ass out of bed on time…
8. School borne illnesses
Yep these are back too. Ask yourself why doctors take 8 weeks off every summer. It’s because by mid-September they will be so busy raking in fees with runny noses, barking coughs and if you are really unlucky, the dreaded lice, cleaning process. You can’t stop these bugs from attacking your kids, you can only hope to contain them. Prepare to hose down your kids nightly to give you the best chance to avoid malaria.
I ask you again, why are we thrilled that the kids are back in school? The truth is they do actually learn stuff that will serve them well in life. They grow from social interactions and actually meet some pretty amazing kids. Do yourself a favour and stock up on beer and wine this weekend. You will need it at some point as it’s a long way until June. Hang in there parents!
Marco